That's easy... Open the yellow pages and turn to divorce lawyers. Leave it open on that page. Then start thumping the yellow pages with your finger and shout "I cannot take this mess I am not going to live like this I am going out to calm down". As you are walking out the door, turn back and shout "you people come in here make a mess and expect me to clean it up I am not going to live like this I am not going to put up with it". Then walk back in and thump the yellow pages again...Then leave and do your shopping.

Everyone will want to know what it is in the yellow pages you were pointing at...and everyone will pitch in to clean the house before you return, to 'save your marriage'. 

When you return with all your new fishing toys, act like nothing happened. Deny everything. Your missus will think you are going mad and will let you go fishing any time you want because it is "therapy".

In the unlikely event that you get caught out...just show them this thread. The free loaders will feel guilty that they have caused you to turn to the internet for help and support and will all pitch in to clean the house to 'help you'.

Fool proof !!

Hehe - sounds like a perfect plan 

Merry Xmas